If you suffer from penis envy, I recommend you read my books in the reverse order written. In this way, you’ll be able to see everything I didn’t know previously that you already know. You’ll be able to absorb the details of my ideas like semen that explodes into you. Using this order Given to me by God, you’ll be able to enjoy the process of reading me as a sexual act with many climaxes that you won’t have to feel guilty for feeling, even if you’re married or in a committed relationship with another person. You’ll be able to enjoy the process of reading as a sexual act with many happy endings.

If you don’t suffer from penis envy, I recommend you read my books in the order I wrote them. In this way, you’ll be able to see everything I learned in the order I learned it. You’ll be able to read about the details behind my ideas as they exploded into print on the page. Using this order Given to me by God, you’ll be able to enjoy the process of reading me in a way you won’t have to feel in any way guilty about.

The order in which my books were written can be found below (the latest listed first)

31-32. The Organ Grinder’s Gorilla

     How I learned to love my obsessive, compulsive disorder

           Volume I

   A Cross-Eyed Bear (A Cross I’d Bear)

   How my O.C.D. has helped me help others

   Volume 2

 

30. The Ugliest Ducking

      If you sucked your thumb as a child, now is the time to put a ring on it.

 

29. For God’s Sake, Tell Me How You Feel!

      If you think about what you think about, you’ll discover how powerfully you feel.

      A guide to solving personal problems with humor

 

28. Knowing God in the Biblical Sense of the Word

      If you’ve got a banana and two plums  I’m sure you already know that your fruits were once forbidden

 

27. Welcome Aboard My Yellow Submarine

Our Destination is the North Pole where Santa has his Workshop.

      The melody that accompanies the Psalms

      (A book for men with special needs)

 

26. David Met Jonathan After Slaying Goliath

      How I made peace with my penis and testicles

 

25. God’s Gay Agenda

      penis envy or semen envy? that is the question.

 

24. Chicken Salad for the Soul

A tale of candor on dry rye with a kosher pickle on the side

 

23. Star-Drek

A Science-Friction Adventure to a Very Strange Planet

 

22. It Wasn’t My Heart I Left in San Francisco…

      A Philosophic Look at Semen and the Delivery Device that Emits It

 

21. How to Find The Man of Your Dreams by Intensifying Your Orgasms

A Self-Help Book for Unicorna and Horny Wild Stallions

 

20. Lampshade for the Light

      of the Last Day of the third Month of the Year

 

19. Call Me Glinda

      a book for friends of Dorothy

 

18. Home Schooled

      why my inner child refuses to go to college

 

17. Lazy Susan

      How Taoism Spins Paradox into Food for Thought

 

16. Your Buddha Within

Inside Every Buddhist Lies an Anti-Authoritarian Who Yearns for Peace of Mind

 

15. Playing god With God

      Hinduism, Health and Healing

      How to Believe in God by Believing in Yourself

 

8-14. Quran: The Book of Lights

         Volume 1  High Lights

         Volume 2  land: How to Become a Genius and Save the Planet

         Volume 3  SEA: How to Love Life

         Volume 4  SEA: How to Love Life

         Volume 5  Sky: How to Believe in Yourself

         Volume 6  Sky: How to Believe in Yourself

         Volume 7  Flames: How to Circumcise Your Own Soul

 

5-7.   A Guest at Their Table

         My Gay-Jewish Review of Christ’s Feast of Self-Love:

         Volume 1  Christ’s Bread and Body

         Volume 2  Christ’s Wine and Blood

         Volume 3  Communion in a Human Body

 

3-4.   The Forbidden Fruit’s Perspective

         Torah For Straight People

         Volume 1  The Genesis of a Moses Like You

         Volume 2  The Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers and Deuteronomy of Everyone

 

2.   The Wisdom of Self-Love

      Life Is a School. I Am My Major

 

1.   Becoming

      89 Poems of My Love for Me