Books – Barry Emanuel Zeve

If you suffer from penis envy, I recommend you read my books in the reverse order written. In this way, you’ll be able to see everything I didn’t know previously that you already know. You’ll be able to absorb the details of my ideas like semen that explodes into you. Using this order Given to me by God, you’ll be able to enjoy the process of reading me as a sexual act with many climaxes that you won’t have to feel guilty for feeling, even if you’re married or in a committed relationship with another person. You’ll be able to enjoy the process of reading as a sexual act with many happy endings.

If you don’t suffer from penis envy, I recommend you read my books in the order I wrote them. In this way, you’ll be able to see everything I learned in the order I learned it. You’ll be able to read about the details behind my ideas as they exploded into print on the page. Using this order Given to me by God, you’ll be able to enjoy the process of reading me in a way you won’t have to feel in any way guilty about.

The order in which my books were written can be found below (the latest listed first)

35.	Only Your Nose Knows How To Make MAGIC!

34.	The See-Through Jew by Self-Ordained Rabbi and Jewru

33.	Wrestling With My Mother’s Ghost My mother and I were very close. She was like a tape worm.

31-32.	The Organ Grinder’s Gorilla How I learned to love my obsessive, compulsive disorder Volume I

	A Cross-Eyed Bear [A Cross I’d Bear] How my O.C.D. has helped me help others Volume 2

30.	The Ugliest Ducking If you sucked your thumb as a child, now is the time to put a ring on it

29.	For GOD’S Sake, Tell Me How You Feel! If you think about what you think about, you’ll discover how powerfully you feel. A guide to solving personal problems with humor.

28.	Knowing God in the Biblical Sense of the Word If you’ve got a banana and two plums, I’m sure you already know that your fruits were once forbidden.

27.	Welcome Aboard My Yellow Submarine Our destination is the North Pole where Santa has his Workshop. The melody that accompanies the Psalms. [A book for men with special needs]

26.	David Met Jonathan After Slaying Goliath How I made peace with my penis and testicles.

25.	GOD’S Gay Agenda penis envy or semen envy? that is the question.

24.	Chicken Salad for the Soul A tale of candor on dry rye with a kosher pickle on the side

23.	Star-Drek A Science-Friction Adventure to a Very Strange Planet

22.	It Wasn’t My Heart I Left in San Francisco… A Philosophic Look at Semen and the Delivery Device that Emits It

21.	How to Find The Man of Your Dreams by Intensifying Your Orgasms A Self-Help Book for Unicorns and Horny Wild Stallions

20.	Lampshade for the Light of the last day of the third month of the year

19.	Call Me Glinda A book for friends of Dorothy

18.	HOME Schooled Why my inner child refuses to go to college

17.	Lazy Susan How Taoism Spins Paradox into Food for Thought

16.	Your Buddha Within Inside Every Buddhist Lies an Anti-Authoritarian Who Yearns for Peace of Mind

15.	Playing god With God Hinduism, Health and Healing How to Believe in God by Believing in Yourself

8-14.	Quran: The Book of Lights Volume 1: High Lights Volume 2: Land: How to Become a Genius and Save the Planet Volume 3: Sea: How to Love Life Volume 4: Sea: How to Love Life Volume 5: Sky: How to Believe in Yourself Volume 6: Sky: How to Believe in Yourself Volume 7: Flames: How to Circumcise Your Own Soul

5-7.	A Guest at Their Table My Gay-Jewish Review of Christ’s Feast of Self-Love: Volume 1: Christ’s Bread and Body Volume 2: Christ’s Wine and Blood Volume 3: Communion in a Human Body

3-4.	The Forbidden Fruit’s Perspective Torah For Straight People Volume 1: The Genesis of a Moses Like You Volume 2: The Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers and Deuteronomy of Everybody

2.	The Wisdom of Self-Love Life Is a School. I Am My Major

1.	Becoming 89 Poems of My Love for Me